greenthemed debauchery

dear self,

no matter what happens this weekend, know that you were excited for it as of 12:49 pm friday afternoon. remember that you mentally prepared through yoga and pilates late last night, clearing your mind and almost faceplanting several times attempting something like twisted halfmoon warrior. what? who even thinks of these moves and decides they have a benefit to the body, besides being able to shrivel up into an awkward pretzel on demand. maybe, just maybe, if i become flexible enough, i can go join the circus. or fit in a very small space for some bank heist. coughoceanselevencough. i mean if my yogaing got me into a room with george clooney brad pitt and matt damon i think id be ok with that. ok rando..
i was walking to work today and (its miserable outside, rain and snow everywhere, damp and disgusting) a car decided to speed down the street into a puddle and splash all over my legs. AWESOME. as if my converse feet werent cold enough, now my legs are wet yeah!
but whatever. im going out tonight. and all weekend. and cooking breakfast for a bajillion people. eeeeeeee.
so i guess i should study for my exam on monday... shit. why do professors do that. its disgusting. no ones going to study, but i really need a good grade. gross. well, work hard play hard.

mmmhmm.

cheesecake icecream?

i wish i saw my room more often. i miss it. and once i think about it, im not going to have the same room for the rest of my life. ill have several different rooms. ive already had...3. one i didnt care for much because of the dark paneled wooden walls, but this one im really fond of. which is why its a shame im never here. its 11:22 pm and ive yet to start studying for my exam, but i cant bring myself to look at my book. im tired of running around and i just want to sit and do nothing. but i know this weekend is going to be ridiculous, work wise and play wise.. and i wont have time to find patterns in the paint on my walls. (theres a demon by my computer). or sleep. i miss sleep so much. i cant afford it anymore.. its as if we have a forbidden romance. 
i wish i could say "i digress" here, but im afraid my entire entry is one big.. digression.

to do-
1. study, now, you lazy ass
2. stop daydreaming and getting your hopes up
3. dont throw up the cheesecake ice cream.. again.
4. get some good sleep


5. survive until friday

organic writing?

there are thoughts buzzing around my head today like those annoying summer gnats. like those ones that no matter how many times you swat, given the surface area of your huge hand it seems impossible that you would miss every single one of them as they sit in the crevice of your ears and hum ceaselessly. i have gnats for thoughts. and useless hands to sort them- i suppose thats what im getting at. every day i walk past the forum building and die for the day when the little trees that arch around the benches finally don their pink buds. im really lucky i got stuck with a class so early in the music building in the spring semester. when the fountains on and all the flowers are out its one of my favorite places on campus to be. the 60 degree weather this weekend was such a tease- i completely forgot how good the sun feels. contemplating going tanning just to relive a sunnap, artificial or not.


fuck


the


snow.


i take back that i enjoy it through february. i dont know what i was thinking when i decided november through february was a good time frame. january is about all i can handle.. and even that is pushing it. because i cant stand january either.. 


i wish i could go a day without wanting something. go with the flow. taoism, right? but not that relaxed. but we're always wanting something. especially me. and its usually sleep. or coffee. or wanting to buy something, or to go out, or to get my studying done, or to go home, or to see someone, or to forget about someone. want want want. i even want.. to not care? vicious cycle. hmmm. i suppose i feel a little more at ease. organically writing whatevers on my mind tends to do that.


maybe i should come up with some names. now. god thats disgustingly juvenile, but i suppose it protects some privacy.


seriously having an internal battle with myself while i evaluate the stupidity of this situation.


i cant just write about the weather all the time. i wont feel better about other issues. and lets be serious. this is like an online diary when i know no one else will listen.. properly.
ohkay. names it is. ugh vomit this is disgusting.


1- im giving up on guys. besides what puzzle piece and pineapple decide to do with random bartender, im just not giving a shit. why do i always have to put forth all the effort!? i mean come on. id like to be chased. chasing is fun, but my feet are tired and im going to take a nap.
2- that was until korean snack shop texted me last night and we had an actual conversation over the phone? that never happens. interesting. almost swallowed my tongue/half pound brownie i made last night. (shitty days call for glutton, get over it.)
3- guys who revel in the idea of many girls having an interest in them should take a small pin and insert it behind their left ear so they can let some of the hot air out of their head. im talking about you, basketball shorts. i will not satisfy this stupid game. or i will at least try not to. 


thats about enough bitching on that for now, we'll see what happens LATER..

and since i cant post this anywhere else without getting sniper rifled (because no thonazi has a sense of humorrr)

THON 2011 For The Kids <3
State Patty's 2011 For The Keg <3

but really good job with THON us- 9 million is ridiculous
i rue the day we dont break a record.
anyways.


 再见!
心想事成 <3

i had a dream.

but literally. i had a dream i made one of these, and usually when i have a dream about something completely out of the ordinary it means  . . . something. so i what did i do when i got up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning? i made breakfast. and then i made a blog. my brother has one that none of us EVER knew about, interestingly enough, so why cant i have one? and i'm always trying to jot my thoughts down, well not always, but when something important happens and i want to remember it i do. but my hand gets so cramped from trying to spill my brain thoughts on paper faster than my hand can move. no bueno. this seems like a simpler solution. but i dont blog, so this is strange. but, you only live once, so why not do everything you can while you do, even if this is a glorified way of talking to myself? ha ha haaaa. whenever i write in courier i feel like that crazy guy from house of leaves. i should probably read that again once i have free time. well. lovely chatting. but im sensing that i forgot to do probably half of my chinese homework. 再见!