i have come to the conclusion that i just dont care. i dont. and regarding certain issues, i think life is too short to care, to be honest. when i look back and think about all the times i risk humiliation its actually hilarious. but seriously enough with all the shit talkers who "live life in the moment." are you? or are you saying you are. because i think im the one who said i was going to get my tongue pierced and did it instead of just talking about it. and jumped out of air planes. and applied to study abroad in china.
my latest risk taking habit is telling people how i feel. whether i know them or not. and heres my reasoning. theres really no particular order to this, but i think it all makes sense. at least to me.
1. lifes short. say everything you can to everyone you can, while you can. why not?
2. im pretty sure id be flattered if someone just randomly said to me, hey, i dont know you, but i think youre lovely. that would make my day.
3. peoples days arent made enough. someone random smiled at me when i was walking to class the other day, and for some reason that tiny half smile made me feel awesome for the following 15 minutes. its the little things, it really is.
so while i was at work, procrastinating because this summer heat is preventing me from concentrating on much else (besides facebook and sleep) i happened upon some guys profile after visiting a friend, and a friend, and a friend.. you know. the trail. so i lazily clicked through his profile pictures and i was literally captivated by one. if captivated doesnt sound lame and cliche enough, but that's the best way to describe it. it was artsy. not, zomg-FRIENDME artsy. but helloigotoanartschool artistic. like, if i had a type, this guy would be reaaal close to being it. i suppose this is what love at first sight feels like? ive never been so drawn to someone ive never met before.
OH you SILLY GIRL listen to YOU.
but its true. as silly as it sounds. anyway..along with my unfailing belief in hating "what ifs" ive taken on this habit of "not thinking and just doing." soooo i just clicked the message button and started off with some awkward sentence that said something along the lines of.. hey! so, you dont know me..
im a real charmer, right? i know. but seriously. ive never felt so compelled to tell someone how attracted i was to them. and again i was never so compelled to tell them to completely disregard that "horrendously embarrassing" message.
i just hope they smiled. thats all i want out of it. and a genuine smile. and maybe experience that 15 minutes of happiness i felt after that random stranger gave me that half smile on the way to class. because there arent enough acts of random kindness in the world, you know?
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